No BBQ allowed: Bucs fans make diet ‘sacrifices’ before Super Bowl

The Big Game

TAMPA, Fla. (WFLA) – The boys are back in town.

Well, one of the “boys” has returned from the NFC Championship Game in Green Bay and the remaining trio finally pressed pause on their podcast so they could meet with me outside of the home of Super Bowl LV.

“I mean, look at that,” said Adam Horn, as he turned to face Raymond James Stadium.

Horn is one of three hosts on the Loose Cannons Podcast.

“We want to raise the Lombardi Trophy, man! It has been a magical season and we want it to end with a victory. It would mean so much to these fans, to the community, to the city of Tampa.”

“It has been an amazing year!” exclaimed Christian Perez, who is also a host on the podcast. “Let’s not hide it. It has been an amazing run. I feel great. I feel amazing. I said, ‘When the Bucs win, the weather is better!’ and you feel this weather today.”

Perez is referencing his previous interview with me, which occurred before the NFC Championship Game.

He claimed the weather, your coffee, and your drive to work are all vastly improved by a Tampa Bay Buccaneers win.

Do you agree with him?

Devon Garnett, who witnessed the Buccaneers’ most recent victory over the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field, agrees with his friend.

“It was a dream come true. Just to hear nothing, just silence in the stadium, nothing but like the 300 Bucs fans that were there,” recalled Garnett. “Honestly, it was a dream come true. That is the only way I can put it.”

“It was an unbelievable moment,” said Samer Ali, the final member of the Loose Cannons Podcast. “It was expected but it was unbelievable.”

Now, I need to share a secret with you. These fans played a role in that “unbelievable” moment because they sacrificed a certain delicacy, cheese.

Yes, I am not kidding. They eliminated cheese from their diets ahead of the game against the Packers and their cheesehead fans.

“We are back to cheese,” said Perez. “We can reinstitute cheese into our diets, blue cheese with chicken wings, it was kind of weird without blue cheese but we sacrificed. We pulled through.”

They survived the cheese strike while they watched their team win so, obviously, they had to do it again.

“This week, my compadres over here, they are not doing KC-style barbecue,” said Perez.

The list of their enemies in the kitchen is lengthy. It includes KC style barbecue, ketchup, and cheeseburgers. Additionally, they are avoiding Muppets and TikToks.

[1] KC-Style Barbecue

“KC-style barbecue,” said Ali, “if you know barbecue, it is the worst possible barbecue style you can possibly choose from. I would take Memphis over that any day of the week. You are not missing anything there.”

[2] Ketchup

“Who would put ketchup on steak?” asked Horn. “It is sacrilegious so absolutely no ketchup.”

“Somehow, this child, who is coming into Raymond James Stadium, has committed the blasphemous act of putting ketchup on steak. Ketchup on steak, if you are a food connoisseur, a “foodie” as the youths would say, you know, that is a complete no-no,” added Ali. “You do not put ketchup on a steak. You do not even need anything on a steak let alone ketchup. That means you’re a child. That is all that accounts for so no ketchup this week.”

[3] Cheeseburgers

“No cheeseburgers either, Andy Reid, because that is your celebratory snack and you are not going to be celebrating,” said Perez. “You know what I am saying? You know what I am saying? No cheeseburgers!”

[4] Muppets

“Nothing Muppet related,” said Horn. “If you have Kermit the Frog stuffed animals, you cannot play with them, your kids cannot play with them, because we all know that Patrick Mahomes and Kermit the Frog are the same person.”

[5] TikToks

“Patrick Mahomes’ brother is on TikTok dancing and doing all of these crazy dances in the press box. You are not coming to Tampa and TikToking in Ray Jay so, if you see a Jackson Mahomes TikToking, report it pronto!”

The list is finally complete but I hope you will reference it through Super Bowl Sunday.

“I got to keep my composure,” said Garnett in reference to how he is handling the days without Buccaneers football, “because, Sunday, I know there are going to be a lot of emotions. I am going to be hyped up so I am just trying to stay calm right now and just wait it out until Sunday. That is all I can do.”

“You know what? The city of Tampa deserves this,” shouted Perez. “We’ve earned this!”

“What else do you need to know?” Ali asked me. “Go Bucs!”     

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