Dog stabs woman (No, that’s not a typo)

HUDSON, Colo. -- It's not dog bites man, but it's close.

A woman was rushed to the hospital after being stabbed by her dog on Wednesday, leading to a law enforcement investigation.

Nurses at Platte Valley Medical Center didn't believe Celinda Haynes when she told them her dog stabbed her.

Suspecting domestic violence, staffers called the Town of Hudson's Marshal Service.

"She's lovable," Haynes said of her dog Mia. "She'll kill you with kindness."

Or in this case, a knife.

"Everybody has had quite a laugh about it," Haynes said.

Haynes said Mia, who is tall enough to reach the kitchen counter, picked up a freshly sharpened pairing knife. The blade was sticking outward and downward, according to Haynes.

Mia was tempted with treats to drop the knife. Haynes said Mia wanted the treats but not at the cost of her "new toy."

"When [Mia] went over to eat the treat, she ran the knife across my arm and cut a big old gash about 4-5 inches long," Haynes said.

Deputy Zach Johnson with the marshal's service was sent to investigate after hospital officials became suspicious.

"When dispatch said that there was a person who was stabbed by a dog, I had to make sure I heard that correctly," Johnson said. "Of course, my initial thought was what's really going on here."

After lots of questions, deputies settled on Mia as the one and only suspect, but she's not talking.

"Obviously, we're not charging Mia with anything because she's a dog," Johnson said.

As for Haynes, there's no nerve damage. She just needs time to heal and find a really good hiding place for her knives.

"[Mia] even pulls them out of the knife block," Haynes said. "Anything for me to chase her, she'll do it."

Deputies said they have officially listed the case as a "suspicious incident."